Every time I find myself awake past 4am, trying desperately to pound out pages of at least marginally coherent words, I promise myself I will not let this happen again. Invariably it does happen again, and those words come back to haunt me, and I resolve the same thing for the future. In reality all I'm doing is reinforcing dishonesty towards myself.
I've become remarkably good at lying to myself about when I will work and how I will improve my study habits. Once bitten, twice shy doesn't seem to apply here. I've been bitten just about every single time, and yet I'm still sitting here with a half blister of caffeine pills gone, jittery to all hell and with one hell of a headache, surrounded by papers and empty bottles of water.
And what am I doing, not writing my term paper on, of all people Father Marin Mersenne, 17th century French mathematician and gossip, I'm writing a blog entry on my inability to write said essay.
Well, I'll try and save what coherence I have left for the paper. I just now had to delete a whole paragraph from this entry because re-reading it, I realized it didn't even make sense to me anymore.
Ta ta, and learn from my mistakes, though I doubt you will.
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